Monday, January 27, 2014

Finding Your New Everybody

Morning luvs. One happy, productive week is behind me - with btw a nice little weight loss (sans Qsymia) and a new week is here! This week was all about going it alone, because guess what? Eventually that has to happen. The process of weaning myself from the use of Qsymia, though daunting and wrought with fears of going in the opposite direction on the scale, is none the less a process that has to happen. And....since my finances post-holidays are less than flush, now is as good a time as any.

So after a week of exercise and eating the same way that I did on Q, I pulled off a nice healthy loss and will continue to do the same thing this week. I should also mention that I've VERY in tune with my body and it's rhythms. Are you? I know when something hormonal is going on with my body - and those hormonal fluctuations effect the scale for sure! This is one of those times for me.

Now...on to something hopefully more interesting. I'm reading a couple of great books right now. One, called "Finding Your Own North Star", by Oprah therapy-guru Martha Beck. I'm finding it to be a wonderful read that I highly recommend if you need to come back to YOU. There's a particular section that spoke to me and that was about "finding your new everybody". In the book Martha instructs you to make a list of all of the people - your "everybody" - that say negative things about you or your weight loss. So try that - get out some paper and make a list of all the people in your life that say shit about you on one side and on the other side, specifically write down what they say. You'll find that the list is actually much much shorter than you imagine it to be. Yet in your mind you've probably thought "everybody thinks I'm fat" or "nobody thinks I can do this". You may also uncover some folks that seem to consistently sabotage your efforts. It's time to set those folks free!

In my life I have 2 lovely sisters. Very different, one tends to be a very easy-going and loving person. The other is spirited, generous to a fault, very loving and loyal....and absolutely insane when it comes to her own personal struggles with weight. Generally only about 15 pounds overweight, those 15 lbs have plagued her for years and years and she pretty much talks incessantly about weight, models, celebrities, diets, working out, food, etc. etc. I love her dearly, but I realized that she is tops on my list of saboteurs and she needs to be set free (at least from that part of our relationship). Recently she sent me one of her "weight loss tips of the day" - generally not something healthy or something that a celebrity did to lose weight (which HELLO - it's actually their JOB to be thin!), and I had to write her back and basically say that I've taken weight loss off my list of things to worry about. I think she got that message. Then the other day she was at my house and I was preparing dinner. She said, "I'm not sure about that skirt. It really accentuates your belly and even though that part of you has gone down a bit, it's still needs work." Sigh. My mom, who was sitting there too, said, "What belly? She looks terrific." in my defense. But at that moment I instantly wanted to grab for some chocolate and I made the connection immediately that this person sabotages me whenever possible and I need to either a. shine it on b. defend myself or c. ignore these comments and realize where they're coming from.

So back to the book.... Martha says if you need to lose some people who are not cheering you on every step of the way then find a new cheering section. Find your new "everybody". And well, that's why I'm here. I knew that I needed a new support group for this particular effort. So if I haven't told you before - I think you rock. I think you can do this. I think you'll lose as much weight as I have - maybe more, effortlessly. In short - I'm proud of you perfect stranger!


Mary Connealy said...

YAY the down week. And without Qsymia. I'm so so so rooting for you, Valri.

Brenda said...

awwww proud of u too stranger, I have been reading your blog all afternoon and now its 10pm central time.
Understand about the sabatoge,I believe people do it out of fear of your change,just because its different and they're not sure if the different will affect them pos or neg.
I have a friend that everytime I talk to him about an accomplishment he puts it down in a joking way. I now don't tell him anything that I'm proud of. He is very insecure and has issues but like family as I've known him 30 yrs I try to keep in mind its his problem not mine but do loose it occasionally and tell him he's a D!@k. ;)