Which just so happens to lead me neatly into this weeks topic! :) So it's funny. Almost 55 lbs ago (54.3 to be exact!) I remember thinking - "OMG - if I could ONLY lose this weight I would be the happiest ME imaginable. All of my problems would be solved and I'd be just the craziest, lightest, funnest, most awesome ME on the planet Me. My kids would get great grades in school and be happy and sweet all the live long day. My husband and I will suddenly communicate on a higher plane then we ever dreamed possible and our marriage will recover and be perfect! Our sex life is going to be magical! I'll have an amazing social life again!" And guess what? I'm here to tell you...it ain't so. Here I am. I have finally, finally done it. With only about 10 pounds to go I have no more excuses and I've actually done away with one single and very serious problem in my life. I look in the mirror now and see only soft feminine curves. I look at my ass and where I used to see dimples and lumps and bumps - I now see nothing be a nice smooth butt. (Which btw - I did with the help of every day rough massage and some awesome stuff I bought on Amazon.com.) I finally, finally - have a body that I'm proud of. Is it perfect? No. I realize though now that it never will be! No one is perfect. We're all perfectly imperfect. My C-section scar will always be there and I have a stretch marks and lose skin now on my tummy. I'm getting age spots on my legs and hands now. Etc. Etc. Etc. There will always be something to hate about your body. And that has to stop. Now.
I'm here to tell you that in fact, in some ways, shedding all this poundage only allowed me to uncover a whole host of issues that I was nicely masking behind all this fat. Staying invisible and flying under the radar was an easy solution to my problems and I did it very nicely, thank you. But once I got rid of the flab, I discovered that I wasn't as "fab" as I pretended to be. I was fronting - hiding my fears, and it was as though I was wearing all of this weight as in FRONT of it all - keeping it nicely hidden from plane view. In some ways I was blissfully, ignorantly happier when I was heavy. If you were to ask me then what my biggest single problem was - without a doubt I would have said, my weight. Only my weight. What a joke! But I now see that I have an opportunity for TRUE growth and change and while there's a period of discomfort to this time, I'm choosing to work through the discomfort because I know that true happiness lies on the other side.
But here's what I've really learned. I'm perfect. That's right and guess what? I was perfect 54.3 lbs ago too! I just didn't know it. I am whole, perfect and complete exactly the way I am right now...and you are too. Please don't wait until you lose weight to start loving yourself. Love yourself now and realize that losing your weight is not a magic potion. You're not suddenly going to become Kate Middleton, or Angelina Jolie or whoever you think is terrific (and guess what - they have problems too!). You're YOU and you're perfect!