Monday, April 14, 2014

Ups 'n Downs....

Just a quickie today, because I'm so FLIPPIN busy. I'm up. I'm down. I'm up. I'm down. I'm like a bloody elevator! I'm not exactly sure that the Qsymia is doing it's job and really...at $125.00 a month, this stuff should really do better! Don't you agree? Just like last time, I am hungry most of the time and have to work REALLY hard to lose. Geez Louise - is it so difficult for some chemist somewhere to come up with a diet medicine that actually makes it so that it's EASY?

Still, I did it last time and I can do it again. I'm trying to repeat my success for these last 15 pounds and damn it...I am GOING TO DO IT!

Better this week. Lots of work outs - almost every day. Sort of fell apart at the end of the week when we went camping. This week we'll be off to Palm Springs, and Easter (CANDY!!!! BASKETS!!!!), can you say "more temptations", so it'll take a lot of will power to get through these next 7 days. But hell. I'm strong. I'm powerful. And I'm learning to be easier on myself.

Thanks for your support everyone. I would have left this a long time ago if I didn't think that even a single person was reading this. It really helps to know that I'm accountable! xoxox

Monday, April 7, 2014

Slippery Slopes-ville

Hall pass. My one and only. Never took one before and won't take one again, but I'm taking one this week. I got on the scale this morning and well, let's just say that I kind of freaked out. So I'm not posting it. Yep. Not posting it. Don't want to and I'm not.

Not exactly sure WTF is going on --- hormones, snacking, broken scale, weird weight fluctuation or what? But I gained and gained a lot. So much so that I toyed with the idea of not showing up here. I toyed with the idea of pretending that this blog didn't exist. And then I remembered that accountability --- staying true to myself and staying real with my weight is what is going to keep me on track and focused. Well...staying real enough to show up at least. ;)

This week I had a wake up call. Not only when I got on the scale this morning, but while I was looking through a catalog one day. Was it the svelte models in the catalog? Perhaps. But something just clicked and all of a sudden I just said to myself, "uh oh. slippery slope. I'm dangerously close to getting to that point that I've been to before when I unconsciously forget about my goals and dreams and accomplishments and let it all slip through my fingers like sand. Where has my commitment to working out gone? Where is my "non-negotiable" policy when it comes to my workouts? It seems to have disappeared without so much as a second of guilt or even memory because I worked out once last week. What would become of me this week - a single workout??? No way. I will not let that happen. I am re-committing to my workouts this week. If I do nothing else this week I am recommitting to a being a person that makes working out a priority in my life.

This much I know.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Onward and Upward....

Back from Vegas, weight held steady, head held high. One door closes and another opens as I say goodbye to a very short lived new business and move on to another something new. Am I bummed out? Well, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't thrilled that things didn't work out with my farmer's market soup business. Nobody likes to feel like a failure, right? But here's what I know and what I believe:

  • Unless you try - you can't succeed. 
  • Some of the most successful people in history have had epic failures - more then once. 
  • Fear stops most people from even trying. I'm ahead of the game by trying. 
  • You live and you learn. 
  • I learned SO much in my 9 weeks at Malibu farmer's market. SO much. I can take that knowledge on to my next product and grow from it. 
  • I got out there. I took a RISK. I pat myself on the back for that. Majorly. If I did nothing else. I took a risk. Something I haven't done in a LONG time. 
  • There is no growth without failure. Plain and simple. 
And now....I move on. Take a breath. Take the month to regroup, clean up (both literally and figuratively), perfect my recipes for ice cream sandwiches and then hopefully hit the ground running by May 1 with my new business! 

Wish me luck! xo

Update: I just read this on another blog and loved it:

Ditch boredom and live large. Failure is the flipside of success and without it, there could be no joy in pushing through the odds, to know what success truly feels like when achieved. At the end of the day, it's a funny world where we're all longing for everything to be simple and easy without any bumps on the road; the sooner you realize that life doesn't come with automatic smoothing agents, the sooner you'll be happier about experiencing the bumps. And just imagine how boring life would be if you had nothing to improve or aim for! Keep in mind that the feeling of failure is the feeling of being alive. It's a sign you've given things a go, pushed boundaries, and bounced back.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Now THAT's What I'm Talkin About!

Woot. Seriously. Back on Qsymia -- stronger dosage of 11.25mg and well, I guess the proof is in the pudding with a whopping 3 lb weight loss this week. And I only managed to squeeze in 3 workouts!

I've always questioned this stuff. What exactly does it do? Is there a placebo effect? I still feel hungry. Yet, the numbers were certainly there to support it. I lost over 50 lbs - not overnight mind you, but I did it and it felt safe and for real and something that I could manage and maintain with thought and hard work. This week I really paid attention to my body - what I was feeling and what exactly the medicine was doing. I noticed that I felt full faster and could push away the plate. I don't believe I felt the desire for seconds ever. I did well eating the way that I really enjoy (and that really is the operative word for ME -- I ENJOY eating this way - you may do something entirely different that works for YOU), I was able to eat only a piece of fruit or two throughout the morning and afternoon and then a cup of green tea with a granola bar at 3:00 each day. It really gives me something to look forward to. At about 2:00 I start watching the clock for tea time! And that really does hold me until 6:00 dinnertime, when I eat whatever the family is eating and then a nice dessert and tea at about 9:00. My energy level felt high and I felt no depression, (let's hope that doesn't happen again as I did feel a bit of that with the first go round). No jitters or strange feelings otherwise either.

I also REALLY concentrated on drinking that H2O. I can't stress it enough. When you're drinking water you're NOT eating, filling your body, flushing out your system. In short --- if your pee isn't clear, you're not drinking enough water.

Off to Vegas tomorrow baby....going SOLO, yes -- sans husband, kids, pets, and other distractions to go to a catering trade show for inspiration and ideas. I'm staying overnight and back on Wednesday and I'm really, really excited. I could use a little me time!


Monday, March 17, 2014

I will do this!

Okay, good week past. Better week to come. No weight loss this week, but I maintained and I suspect a loss to come. Something is definitely happening with my body right now. There are all sorts of strange feminine things goin on - you know - um, down there. So whenever hormones are a part of the equation all bets are off - weight loss wise.

I did great though this past week. Worked out 5 days, drank plenty of water (see below), and ate the way I like to --- without Qsymia! However, I DID get my Rx for the med refilled and I'm happy to say that I've been back on it for 2 days now. I'm taking the stronger strength dosage --- 11.25 and excited to see the results. I have mixed emotions to be honest. In some ways I feel like a bit of a failure. Eventually I will have to be off this stuff and go it on my own and gaining this weight back IS NOT an option. But I have to let these feelings go and realize that GETTING TO GOAL is my goal right now. Once I'm there I can formulate a plan. My original plan was to go to Weight Watchers for maintenance and I should probably reconsider that. One step at a time!

Anyway....if you're new to my blog or have been following along, this is kind of like a rebirth for me! Check in and cheer me on as I start phase deux of this incredible weight loss journey! I have 13 lbs to goal! WOOT! I can and WILL DO THIS!

Water....if you have learned this crazy, simple, insanely easy secret to weight loss yet....drink it. Lots and lots and lots of it. It's amazing. Drinking water is like a magic pill. One that doesn't cost $124.00 after a $75.00 coupon! It fills you up and keeps your mouth busy. It sends signals to your brain that you don't need to eat. It flushes toxins from your body. I can't say enough about it. All I know is this....when I'm drinking water, I'm losing weight! Amen.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Ruh Roh

Holy Shit. Okay - I'll be honest that I'm freaking out here. The absolutely worst thing that could happen to me, (okay - well, obviously there are things that could be a bit worse), but really really really horrible - would be to gain this weight back! As we all know, the challenge with losing a lot of weight is keeping it off.

I'm declaring right now. This minute. March 10th, 2014. I WILL NOT GAIN THIS WEIGHT BACK! I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAINTAIN MY 60 LB WEIGHT LOSS. WHATEVER.

So what's happening here? I'm no longer working out 7 days a week. Since I'm starting a business I had to make my priorities change and consequently I no longer felt like I had the time to get to the gym or walk. As of today, that will change. I can certainly figure it out. I did it  before. I can and will work out a minimum of 6 days a week again starting today. Water --- I'm just getting lazy about it and it's everything to me. Filling up with water all day keeps me from eating. Period. Eating --- this is the big one obviously. I am transitioning my product from my artisan soups (which sadly, I'm not making enough profit on at the moment), to...gulp....ice cream sandwiches. Ice cream is a fattening, irresistible, red light food and it scares the bejesus out of me to be involved at all in the ice cream business. I've been testing recipes for both the cookies and the ice cream at home and sampling A LOT this week. Just a spoonful of this and a half a cookie here and there and another little spoonful.....it all adds up! But it's really something that I want to do, so I will have to learn to make peace with the fact that I will have to sample my stuff until I get my recipes down (afterwards I should be in the clear), but be mindful of the size and frequency that I'm sampling. For instance, this week I did a gingerbread cookie and I ate about 4 of them! That goes way beyond "sampling".  I look at some very successful women in food and think, "if they can do it - I can do it". How about Dylan, from the famous NYC candy store, Dylan's Candy Bar -- thin. Mrs. Fields --- thin. Nigella Lawson --- thin. Candace Nelson -- owner of Sprinkles cupcakes --- thin.

The last component of all of this is obviously, Qsymia. I lost my weight on it and I knew that the real challenge would be keeping it off. I went to Costco to fill my new higher dosage prescription last week and was met with a $225.00 cost. I opted to NOT fill it. Way too expensive. But....I went to the Qsymia website yesterday and can see that they are now offering $75.00 off on any dosage for the next year, so I guess that's why they raised the price? In any case, I will get my prescription filled today, so that I can lose the almost 10 that I gained back already!

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Making Myself Priority #1

Well guys....I seem to be holding steady for this week at 155.8. This does NOT make me a happy girl. No, not at all. I'm up about 6 pounds from my lowest (and happiest weight ever!) of 149 and I need to get back there. I will be honest and say that it has not been easy without the use of Qsymia and I'm worried. I absolutely cannot and will not gain this weight back. Not this time.

But my current situation --- which is working 7 days a week trying to get my soup business off the ground isn't helping things much. Although I will not blame it on that. Still not eating a proper breakfast or lunch and just a nice lovely dinner of whatever I want, but now it's not so easy to resist picking throughout the day. I'm also so busy that I'm not drinking all of my water. My experience is that WATER is the beginning of weight loss. Whenever I'm diligent about getting those 10 glasses of water in my body every day I do great. I guess the water fills you up and hydration is sometimes what your body is asking for -- not food.

So for this week I will concentrate on getting those glasses of water in first and foremost! Every. Single. Day. And then I will go back to lots of fresh fruit during the day and a granola bar or yogurt with tea at 3:00. My routine helped me lose 52.3 lbs and there is no reason that I shouldn't be able to continue!

In short....this week will be all about making myself PRIORITY #1!

That said....I am considering pulling out the prescription that my doctor gave me for the 11mg Qsymia and doing a month or two more on it.....